There are times when one is confused, not because he doesn’t know what the problem is, but because, he feels that he has no solution to it. Problems are funny characters, almost like living beings, almost as if they know when to irritate you, when to infuriate you and when to exasperate you. Problems and inconveniences have a distinct difference; problems are what others create for you and inconveniences are what you create for yourself.
Like, getting a leave from work to go on a date is clearly an inconvenience; however, falling in love is, undoubtedly, a problem. While, enjoying the few better years of your life wondering if you will ever be able to stay with the beautiful woman, you are dating and how life will be when the phone rings and you answer, Mr and Mrs so and so; or when you will be rushing her to the maternity ward in anticipating of fathering an astronaut and all that kind of nonsense; you are hardly anticipating what is in store for you when all this really happens.
When they say, Love flies out of the window, I say, I beg to differ, it actually opens the goddamn door and walks straight out, no obligations , no salutations, no good byes, just straight out. Bye Bye, so longs and all other niceties are left behind and there you can see it bouncing off into oblivion. And surprisingly love, doesn’t just decide to go out one fine day, after the morning cuppa’ tea or the “sunny-side up” eggs-on-toast, it has been sending signals for a while.
It starts to squirm when first you tell your wife she ain’t looking good in that shirt and she smirks back at you and says “ I know what I am doing” or “ I never asked for an opinion” or the classic one “really, well, yet I will wear it, because I like it” and you stand there stupefied asking your love, why did I bother with giving my opinion, and love in return stands there equally stupefied and says “ because you love her!”
It goes out to get fresh air, when after a long haul of verbal bashing, you and your partner don’t know why it started in the first place, or cannot identify, who hurt whom first and who retaliated, and “I” becomes more important than “you” . It goes out for a drive, when on a Sunday morning, you are not in the mood, when all you want to do is look into the paper and hope against hope that she will not come and ask you to go grocery shopping, or you await by the phone waiting for a friend to call you for a morning meeting of the association of fatheads!
And over such trifling events, Love is quietly packing its bags and folding his sheets, while you figure out “whose fault is it, anyway!”
On the day, it decides to leave, you just let it, you don’t run after it, you don’t try to stop it, you find reasons to want to. Once it is gone, you miss it terribly, and then you give reasons to yourself asking what good was it anyway…emotionally yes, financially no, binding yes, freedom no, etc., etc…
But love just doesn’t leave; it actually sublets my mind space to a problem. Problems, as I said, in the beginning, are not like inconveniences. Inconveniences, are like guests, they come in, get their boarding and lodging for a short stay and are quick to leave; Problems, however, have immigrant visas, they intend to stay longer. And when they arrive, soon after love has vacated, they find a comfortable stay and become you and your wife’s best buddies.
Then, anything you say, your wife has a problem; anything she says, you have a problem; anything you do , she has a problem, anything she plans, you have problem…in fact, on close observation, just about anything that happens between you two has a problem.
Lost train of thought...will continue later.
Neeti
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